Paul's Reflections Twenty - third Sunday of the Year - A. 4th September, 2011

4th September, 2011      Twenty - third Sunday of the Year - A

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On this Father’s Day weekend, the readings are rather fitting, by coincidence, because they remind us of how each and every one of us belongs to a family, (a community); ….. and it is from our influential family members and elder mentors that our values are formed and shaped. 

We give thanks to God for our Fathers… and all parents who pass on the values that matter.

To me, the Scriptures this weekend teach us that we are formed and called to be a loving community, in union with God and in goodwill and love and care with one another. That is the core of everything in the law and the prophets. It is the core of the Gospel message.

One of the big problems in our world today, seems to me is that there is this mentality of many people that they are like a solo performer who just happens to be living in a community,  rather than an inter-dependent member who is a part of the community in which he or she lives…   There are too many people who are alienated and often antagonistic to the wider values and significance of the community or family within which they exist.  It causes terrible results, as people with that mindset can act selfishly and thoughtlessly, without regard or respect for the communion good, or the needs of their brother and sister around them. This thinking at its worst would not even acknowledge they the people around them formed ANY sort of brotherhood or sisterhood of humanity.

The Christian message is that one cannot be a solo Christian. God calls and forms us to be a people of God, a chosen people and a member of the BODY of Christ. 

I think of some sayings that are consistent with the concept of belonging to a community in which Christ is present.. and in which the values of the Gospel are taught and learnt.

Sayings such as…..

·         “It Takes A Village to Raise a Child.” Others have challenged that saying, somewhat, and said..   “actually it takes a family to raise a child”…  (noting the differing values that a community can have for better or worse, as compared with a family and the values they pass on…..).

·         No man (or woman) is an island, complete of itself.

·        You start building a good neighbourhood when you yourself decide that you will be a good neighbour.

Then I think of a wonderful reflection that is quite popular…

Children Learn What They Live (1998). by Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005)

·        If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

·        If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

·        If they live with acceptance, they learn to love.

·        If they live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

·        … with sharing, they learn generosity.

·        ….. with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

·        ….  with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

·        If they live  with criticism, they learn to condemn.

·        ……and so on..  

 

I would add another one…   “If children do the wrong thing and then see their parents siding with them against authorities that are rightly challenging their bad behaviour… then children learn to disrespect authority, and learn not to be accountable for their actions. They learn to be a real pain in the neck and a worry for the community.”

 

One sees that FAR too often in society..   people who have done the wrong thing and are in the wrong…  challenged by the authorities and rules that guide our community…  and their parents, instead of backing up these authorities, and seeing them as instruments of their role in transmitting values and morals, take the side of their children when the issues are actually indefensible.  Its misguided.  That is a distortion to the concept of “unconditional love.” Love is accepting the person, it is not necessarily accepting bad behaviour. In fact it can be very unloving to do so… because its choosing something that is not for their good. 

 

One often hears people say that in the old days…   when they were younger…  if the police for some reason had to drop them home to their parents because of some incident…  because they had somehow got into some problem with the law… no matter how minor… they knew they would be in equally big trouble with their parents!!  But today, all too often, one hears incidents of people being dropped back home to their parents by the authorities only to get a mouthful from the parents…  its all THEIR fault.. their child couldn’t possibly be the problem….   (it must be someone else’s child who is out all night causing trouble…   it just looks like their child….   There is a bad lookalike causing all the trouble……  or they are just being picked on…..   )….   That is really a worrying attitude.. and ultimately will do no good whatsoever.

 

And, of course, for some reason, over the years, even in the church, an erroneous concept has grown up that one can be a fully participating Christian disciple and hardly ever darken a church door…    a bit like joining a footy club and never turning up to training and never playing a game… and never paying the dues…   it is nonsensical…  but it’s a widespread attitude…   but the Scriptures say otherwise… the Christian community gathered has the presence of Christ..  and it is not an optional extra…

 

The Community, Church and wider, is an essential part of a person’s life. The family and the community, and the church community are key instruments in passing on and teaching the values and principles of the things that have abiding value.

 

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REFERENCES:

·        FR. PAUL W. KELLY

·        "Children Learn What They Live" © Dorothy Law Nolte. Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE.©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris.