Lent Week Two – Year C - 4th March, 2007
Transfiguration:
Many of us know of the great “Saint Augustine” (well known for his tumultuous early life of indulgence and searching…. and his later conversion to Christianity….… helped by the prayers of his mother, Saint Monica… whose prayers and tears have been remembered for countless generations…. Augustine wrote the famous book “Confessions” which is really a book not about what he did wrong….but of what he now has come to believe…..
Saint Augustine, in that book describes a haunting and beautiful moment…… like a little moment of transfiguration in his own life story…….
It happened when Augustine and his mother Monica were talking together…. they were sharing their faith…….. Augustine writes…..
From Saint Augustine: Confessions (Book nine, chapter 10). [Augustine. Confessions. Trans. R.S. Pine-Coffin. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1961, page 197 (paperback edition).]
“My mother and I were alone, leaning from a window which overlooked the garden in the courtyard of the house were we were staying at Ostia. . . .Our conversation led us (to speak of many things)……. our thoughts ranged over the whole compass of material things in their various degrees, up to the heavens themselves, from which the sun and the moon and the stars shine down upon the earth. Higher still we climbed, thinking and speaking all the while in wonder at all that God has made.
At length we came to our own souls and passed beyond them to that place of everlasting plenty, where you (Lord) feed Israel for ever with the food of truth. There …..life is “that Wisdom by which all these things that we know are made”, all things that ever have been and all that are yet to be. But this Wisdom is not made: it is as it has always been and as it will be for ever . .
... And when we spoke of the eternal Wisdom, // longing for it //and straining for it with all the strength of our hearts//, for one fleeting instant //we reached out //and touched it. //Then with a sigh . . //. we returned to the sound of our own speech, //in which each word has a beginning and an ending //- far, far different from your Word, our Lord, who abides in himself for ever, yet never grows old and gives new life to all things.”
this is like an echo of the transfiguration of jesus on the mountaintop… where Jesus divinity shines through for an instant and then everything returns to normal/….. and seems as ordinary as it was before………
we have seen a glimpse behind the curtain… and it is truly beautiful….
God gives us these occasional glimpses of divinity…… a divnity that surrounds us always but we can always see it…….. most times don’t recognize it…..
these glimpses… these moments are special……. they spur us on….
the trouble is…. when we get these special moments…. it is understandable that we would want to settle there… the grasp the experience and stay with it forever………….
perhaps its part of the human condition…. we clutch at the messenger as if they are the message itself………
that’s exactly what the disciples did on the mountain top…. this experience was scary.. it was extraordinary… it was beautiful……. so… let us stay here… let us build three tents and remain in this moment forever…….
we too can be tempted to settle for momentary encouragement in place of the wider picture…
Jesus made the disciples snap out of their misunderstanding…. no… they can’t stay on the mountain.. there is much to be done… and at the end of the road…… unavoidable …. is calvary…………
I hesitate to say this to myself… because I too tend to want to hold on to moments of grace… moments of encouragement…….. mountaintop moments where we glimpse divinity… and experience the extraordinary……… but it is as if Jesus is saying…. accept these moments…but don’t cling to them…… the journey continues……..
Could it be that our life, on this earth, whilst it need not be misery… may always be an experience of ‘divine doscontentment’……. that is … in “not-quite satisfied” … maybe if you or I feel this from time to time, this is not a completely alien or horrific thing…………… Is the way of Jesus deliberately teaching us that we are on a journey of dissatisfaction……. because if we were ever entirely satisfied in this life…. then we would stop where we were…. the journey is ended… the goal is attained………. the tents are put up and there we shall stay…….. yet jesus constantly reminds us that the journey is not finished…… (don’t get me wrong… time and time again… I long for nothing more than utter and complete contentment here and now….. and for always… beginning now………… and many (including myself) can say that many times…. perhaps a lot of the time … we can describe ourselves as contented……. as relatively happy as one could be in a life of constant surprise and change…)…….Yet… the many graces and joys….. this place too…… is an oasis on the way…… and we must not be utterly satisfied… we cannot reach perfect contentment until the ultimate goal of the fullness of union with God and with each other in God’s kingdom is attained……
perhaps it is some small comfort to know that whilst God does not want us to suffer misery and torment…or to be torn by deep feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction…….… God is constantly reminding us of what Augustine himself wrote as well….…. despite that wonderful moment of grace he described in his writings… he also wrote something even more profound…. "Loving God…….You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You."